I said, 'That means it's pasture bedtime.' I told my daughter, 'Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.' She said, 'What's that got to do with anything?' “That’s one too many!” says the customer. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. From Redditor u/RabidSyphiliticDingo:Ī man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. She said, 'What's the matter? You look dis-Mayed.'ġ2. I turned to tell her we were missing a month. To my surprise, the calendar skipped from April to June. My wife asked me to flip the calendar to the next month. Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age. My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. What about the boy?ĭid you hear the one about the dog and the tree? He's an idiot! What did he name the girl? The woman asked the doctor about her baby.ĭoctor: You had twins, a boy, and a girl. But no pun in ten did.Īnswer: Because they had a fight and 2021.Ī woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard. I have a simple standard for dad joke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. I must admit, I joined this subreddit despite not being a dad.Įdit: This took off a lot better than I expected.I feel like a father figure now. Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable. Question: Why does Dracula always bite people in the neck?ĮDIT: getting downvoted, might have been a grave mistake posting here.ĮDIT 2: getting a lot of upvotes now. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. Today, my son asked 'Can I have a bookmark?' and I burst into tears. Question: What genre are national anthems? The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said 'happy.', and started timing on her watch. My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning Here are some hilarious and totally clean dad jokes from the best of Reddit. We know it can be a bit overwhelming and confusing to navigate for some folks, so we rolled up our sleeves and found the absolute best dad jokes on Reddit for your enjoyment and utilization. The moderators do a good job keeping it clean and sending posts that cross the line over to r/unclejokes, but having amassed 6 million members since 2011, the subreddit has a lot of content to wade through in order to find the real howlers. One of our favorite subreddits just so happens to be r/dadjokes, which is full of both groaners and guffaws. As with all things Reddit, finding the true gems may require some digging and sifting. The online forum platform is teeming with over 130,000 sub-forums and communities, covering nearly any topic or category imaginable. With 1.7 billion monthly visits, Reddit is arguably the most active hive mind on the internet.

Lame dad jokes reddit